My Pleasures Do Not Actually Have Much to Do with Asexuality

So the theme for this month’s Carnival of Aces is ‘pleasure’.

For me, asexuality and pleasure do not have anything to do with each other.

Right now, I am drinking a ginseng drink, and that is a source of pleasure. But lots of people who are not asexual get pleasure from ginseng drinks, and the pleasure I am getting from it has nothing to do with me being asexual.

Right now, I am in a hostel on Hong Kong island (that’s right, Hong Kong island, not Tsim Sha Tsui, I would not want to stay in Chongking Mansions), where I am meeting many other budget travellers, and I get pleasure from meeting different kinds of interesting people. But I do not think the pleasure I get from this has anything to do with asexuality.

The header for this blog shows an upside image of the hills of Jinguashi covered with silvergrass. Jiufen and Jinguashi are a top tourist magnet in Taiwan since it was an inspiration/location for both one of the most famous Taiwanese movies ever (A City of Sadness) AND one of the most famous Japanese movies ever (Spirited Away). On top of being very cinematic, this is one of the finest places to go hiking in northern Taiwan, and the fact that I put that photo as the header on the blog is a pretty big hint that hiking is a significant source of pleasure in my life. I love the endorphin rush, I love beautiful scenery, I love finding history and culture, and basically I love seeing new places and things. But I think that has basically nothing to do with me being asexual, since there are lots people who love hiking around Jinguashi, and I bet the vast majority of them are not asexual.

I do get some pleasure from participating in the asexual blogosphere … but I get a similar kind of pleasure from my not-about-asexuality blogging as well. I do get some pleasure from meeting other ace-spectrum people, but it is not unlike the pleasure I get from meeting people who I have certain others things in common with.

The only other way in which I think ‘pleasure’ and ‘asexuality’ could be connected is that, when it is revealed that I do not experience sexual attraction AND I abstain from sex, the question ‘but what do you do instead of sex for pleasure?’ emerges. But … pretty much everything that gives me pleasure also gives a zillion people who are not on the ace-spectrum and/or who frequently have sex pleasure.

So, I am an aromantic asexual, and there are many sources of pleasure in my life. But, aside from perhaps pleasure which specifically arises from interacting with others in ace-spectrum communities, nothing about any of my pleasures fit into asexuality in any particular way.


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3 thoughts on “My Pleasures Do Not Actually Have Much to Do with Asexuality

  1. This is actually exactly how I feel. 😛

    That’s why I was not really gonna write anything for this Carnival of “Aces”, as if I began to gush about what I experience as pleasure in my life – talking for hours to someone, marathoning an awesome TV show I’ve just discovered, making a fanvideo I can be proud of, eating my favorite foods – I’d be like “um… and yeah this has nothing to do with my asexuality”. 😛

    • Yeah, I also considered not participating, but I realized `this has nothing to do with asexuality` is itself a topic, and I actually had in the back of my mind the idea of writing something like this for a while (though I would have emphasized different points if I was not tailoring it for the carnival).

  2. Pingback: Pleasure: June Carnival of Aces | The Pleasure's All Mine

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