I do not need more privacy as an asexual, but the privacy I want is a bit different

The call for submissions for this month’s Carnival of Aces with the theme of ‘privacy’ includes this prompt:

-Do you think privacy or the right to privacy is more important to you than it would be for another sexuality or for someone who identifies as straight?

My short answer is ‘no’. I think privacy would be just as important to me if I had a different sexuality, even if I were heterosexual. However, just because I don’t think asexuality affects how important privacy to me is, it does affect which kinds of privacy are more important to me.

For example, I don’t have sex, and I think the fact that I am asexual is a major reason for my lack of sexual activity. Most people, at least in my culture, strongly prefer to have sex in private, and generally seek much more privacy for their sexual activities than I do for my, say, reading activities. That includes finding spaces to actually do the deed (I am way more okay with reading in public than most people are with having sex in public) as well willingness to discuss in detail (I am way more okay with discuss my reading habits in detail than many people are with discussing their sexual activities in detail). There is a need for some level of privacy with reading habits – see this about the US Patriot Act and Libraries to learn a bit more about that – but generally, people consider privacy around sex to be more important than privacy around reading. One of the effects of this is that I have a higher tolerance of communal living than a lot of other adults (of course in much of East Asia, people tend to live communally yet pay for privacy for sexual activity by going to motels – even motels which don’t market themselves as ‘love’ motels often charge a separate rate for staying at the motel for just an hour or two than for staying overnight).

However, the fact that I am asexual, and in particular, because I am aromantic, I keep some things private which I might otherwise not keep private. I generally don’t mind if people know I am asexual or aromantic (with some exceptions) but I usually do not reveal that I am an aro/ace because I do not want to go through the tiresome Asexuality 101 / Aromanticism 101 when I don’t expect to have a close relationship with someone. Generally, if I do not volunteer information, people just assume that I am straight and don’t ask much about it. However, on some occasions, I will dodge certain questions because I want to avoid explaining that I am aromantic (for me, aromanticism tends to be the sticking point more than asexuality).

This is, of course, a reflection of my individual situation, not a representative portrait of asexual experiences with privacy.

In short, I don’t think asexuality affects how important privacy is to me, but it does influence what I keep private and what I do not.

Riding the Zephyr through the Mountains

I managed to resurrect my camera temporarily and take a few pictures in the Rocky Mountains

I managed to resurrect my camera temporarily and take a few pictures in the Rocky Mountains

I took the California Zephyr, the United States’ longest passenger train route (well, if you combine the Texas Eagle and Sunset Limited, that is actually longer, but whatever) from its origin in Chicago to its terminus in Emeryville (which is very close to San Francisco) for a few reasons. First of all, I was travelling in winter, so I figured it was not the best time of year to take intermediate stops. Second, I had never been to the Rocky Mountains at all before, nor had I been to the Sierra Nevada in winter. Third, I wanted the experience of taking the longest possible passenger train ride in the United States (excluding the Texas Eagle / Sunset Limited combination) nonstop.

In my post on the Sunset Limited I commented on the demographics of the train passengers. The California Zephyr’s demographics are a bit different. For starters, there were a lot more white people, particularly east of Denver. West of Denver, the train passengers became more racially mixed, including Latinos, African-Americans, and Asian-Americans, as well as some visitors from outside the United States. However, the most represented group of all on the train were retirees – older people who had quit worker, and had time to spend on trains. They were also well-represented on the Sunset Limited, but based on my observation, it seemed that there were more retirees on the California Zephyr than on the Sunset Limited.

After leaving Denver, we entered the ‘Tunnel District’. We passed through 42 tunnels (I did not keep count, but some of the passengers did, and they counted them out loud). The train had to make sweeping curves to get up into the mountains. During one of those sweeping curves, we passed a large herd of wild elk which were only about fifteen feet away from the train tracks. The mountains facing Denver, suffice to say, were covered in snow, with some coniferous trees as well.

Now, way back in Union Station in Chicago, I had felt some strain on my back, probably from several weeks of travelling with luggage, but I thought little of it. After all, how much strain would I put on my back while I sat on a train for a couple of days. HA HA HA HA HA HA. During my second day on the train, my back felt terrible, so much so that I ended up taking ibuprofen (it had been more than ten years since I had taken ibuprofen, or any other painkiller). My back was probably already in a delicate condition due to hauling luggage, and the sleeping position I had taken that night had tipped it over the edge. I had never had a problem before sleeping in coach – I had found decent sleeping positions – but the sleeping position I had taken that night had been a mistake. Never again.

We eventually went through the Moffat Tunnel, which is the highest altitude point of the entire Amtrak system (its elevation is 9,239 ft./2,816 m above sea level).

This looked much more beautiful in person. I had to point the camera upward at one of the windows in the roof of the train car because the cliffs are that high above the train tracks.

This looked much more beautiful in person. I had to point the camera upward at one of the windows in the roof of the train car because the cliffs are that high above the train tracks.

The tunnel district was lovely – and we passed right next to a ski resort (the Colorado residents told me that the ski resort had been hurting until that week because, before the recent snows, there had not been enough snow to ski). However, my favorite scenery in the Rockies was along the Colorado River. The train goes by a section which is only accessible by rail and by boat – no roads. The river flows even in winter, and it cuts a groove into the rocky mountain terrain (there’s a reason it’s called the ‘Rocky’ Mountains). Incidently, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Colorado River. I enjoyed watching the soaring cliffs, frosted with snow, and seeing the rocks change from grey to brown to red to white.

The sun set around the time we arrived in Glenwood Springs. That meant I did not get the greatest view of Glenwood Canyon, but maybe I’ll see it another time. It sure would have been nice to take a dip in the hot springs!

After Grand Junction, I went to sleep, woke up when the train arrived at Provo, Utah, stayed awake until the train arrived in Salt Lake City at around midnight, then went back to sleep. There was snow in Utah, but not as much as Colorado.

The next morning, I woke up and found out that I was in Nevada. I really liked the Nevada scenery. The grassy valley was yellow, with a dusting of snow. Meanwhile, the hills looming over the valley on both sides were coated with white snow, with little tufts of yellow poking out.

I met some of the young people who boarded the train in Salt Lake City. Since I had planned on being on the train for more than 50 hours, the fact that the train was a few hours behind schedule did not matter much to me. However, to people who were waiting to board the train, the fact that the train was a few hours late was a big deal. I heard that the young people waiting for the train in Salt Lake City had had a little party at the train station while they were waiting for the train to show up.

My back was feeling better, but I was glad that this was my last day on the train, especially since I had already eaten all of my tastiest food. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the Nevada scenery and the company.

We got to Reno at around noon, and followed the Truckee River. The Truckee River is unusual in that, unlike most rivers, it never touches any ocean or sea.

Finally, we crossed the Nevada/California border, and stopped in Truckee, the first California stop. Riding this train gave me an appreciation of just how large the states of Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Utah, and Nevada really are, so crossing the final state border felt like a big deal to me. In Reno, we also got a national parks guide, who commented on the scenery we were passing through.

The train passed through some snow sheds – built to protect the train from snow. Only about 1 mile of train track is still covered with snow shed, but the guide said that, when the trans-continental rail line first opened, there were over twenty miles of snow shed.

As on the Sunset Limited, I got to talk to people of various different walks of life on the train. I still continue to consider this one of the highlights of train travel. In my experience, the only other mode of transportation which encourages strangers to meet and talk with each other to the same degree as the Amtrak trains are long-distance ferries (by long distance, I mean more than four hours).

We passed Donner Lake. It’s big, and it has a nice reflection of the mountains but … I was overwhelmed. Maybe I had had enough of scenery by that point. What I did really enjoy was looking a the trees. The Sierras have beautiful forest, and the trees at high elevations are not like the trees I get to see in my everyday life. They were right next to the train tracks, so I could get a close look at them.

The sun set when we got to Roseville, and by that point, I was so done with being on the train. As more passengers got off, I retreated into my book. Finally, the train got to Emeryville station. I took the bus to San Francisco, and my journey ended.

If you have read all of my travel posts this month, my comment is: wow. I am so flattered that you would be willing to read all of that. I am amazed at how many lengthy travel posts I have written this month, and I am amazed that I had time to write all that. Of course, it was easier to find time to write travel posts when I was actually travelling since it helped me unwind after a day of tourism, whereas it is harder to find time to blog when I am at home!

I might write a post with my concluding thoughts about this travel. Or maybe I won’t because I am moving on with my life. We’ll see.

Review: Candy Land by Lissa Kasey

Book cover of Candy Land by Lissa Kasey

This is the last story I am reviewing for month of asexual fiction from Dreamspinner Press.

What is this story about?

Candy is buying up bad brothels in City M, tearing them down, and redeveloping them. He is jealous of his lover, Ivy, spending so much time with Jack – both because Ivy is his lover and he is interested in Jack himself. Meanwhile, somebody is going around murdering whores in City M in gruesome ways. Horrible as that is, it is not as big a deal as the possibility that the people will rise up and overthrow the government – or that an army is coming to take over City M.

What sexual and/or violent content is there in this story?

A LOT. LOTS OF SEXUAL CONTENT. LOTS OF VIOLENT CONTENT. It would be easier to list the types of sexual and violent content which aren’t in this story. Which, ummm, IIRC, there is no suicide, and I do not think there is any sexual content involving female characters (in fact, there are very few female characters).

Tell me more about this story.

This is the third and final book in the Hidden Gem trilogy. For once, I actually did read the other books in the series. Is it possible to read Candy Land as a standalone novel? Maybe … not. I probably would have been a lot more confused if I hadn’t read the first two books in the trilogy.

This review is going to be focused on Candy Land, not a review of the trilogy as a whole. However, since the first two books in the trilogy influenced my experience of Candy Land, I am going to discuss them too to some extent.

Okay, so tell me about the universe of this trilogy..

An important part of this trilogy is the setting. It’s set in the future, after the United States has been destroyed by environmental disasters. There was also a plague which killed tons of people. The former United States is split into the ‘South’ which is a full-blown dystopia, complete with slavery, concentration camps, anti-queer bigotry, terrible quality of life for most of its residents, a class of powerful elites, etc. Meanwhile, there are the United Cities of the North, each named after a letter of the alphabet (such as City M, where the trilogy takes place). While not quite as dystopian as the South, the Northern Cities ain’t no paradise – the population is much below the peak when the United States still existed, the government is super corrupt (and apparently non-democratic, according to the second book in the trilogy), there is a shadowy secret intelligence service which *might* not be as evil as its counterpart in the South (or *maybe* it is as evil and just better at hiding it) etc.

Meanwhile, some people are ‘psis’ – they have developed various kinds of psychic powers. They are a stigmatized group. And there is a great secret – in addition to the psis, whose existence is common knowledge, there are also the A-Ms – animal mutations. They are the survivors of the plague – and even the fact that anybody survived the plague is a secret. The A-Ms are people who, due to mutated DNA, shapeshift into various animals. Thus there is a pseudo-scientific justification for including werewolves and such entities in this trilogy.

The trilogy revolves around characters associated with the Hidden Gem (in fact, the first book of the trilogy is Hidden Gem), the classiest brothel is all of City M. Thus, there is a lot of focus on sex work, as well as BDSM (it’s one of the Hidden Gem’s services) in this trilogy.

I think that just might be enough information to try to read Candy Land as a standalone. Granted, I didn’t get into any of the individual characters’ histories, but knowing the basics of this universe might give a reader a fighting chance of reading Candy Land in isolation.

This fictional universe … is going to appeal to some readers a lot, and not do so much for other readers. For what it’s worth, I’m not one of the readers who finds this universe particularly appealing, but it also does not put me off. It’s neutral with regards to my reading pleasure.

I know there is something you really want to say about the second book in the trilogy.

Yes. I think the second book, Cardinal Sins, is hands down the worst of the three books of the trilogy. And that’s even WITHOUT considering one part of the book which really bothers me, and had an significant impact on my experience of reading Candy Land.

[Warning: discussion of sexual violence coming up RIGHT NOW]

In chapter 9 of Cardinal Sins, there is this:

Candy didn’t hesitate in backhanding the mouthy bastard hard enough to send him sprawling on the bed. Jason’s eyes flashed with anger. “You have no right!” he protested.

“I have every right,” Candy said. “You are a contracted whore. I could tie you to the bed and lead every man in the building up here to fuck you and cover you in their come and you would have no rights.”

Summary: Candy is threatening Jason with gang rape.

And that is exactly what happens later in that chapter – Candy forces Jason to submit to sexual torture by clients, and then forces Jason to have sex with those clients against Jason’s will.

And Candy is one of the ‘heroes’ – a protagonist readers are supposed to have sympathy for (in fact, he is the character on the cover of Candy Land).

I am not bothered by having sexual violence in my fiction. I can even enjoy a story in which the protagonist initiates sexual violence, especially since I sometimes like unethical protagonists. However, I do insist on some kind of acknowledgement in the story that sexual violence is wrong, that it is the writer’s intent to have an unethical protagonist. Maybe the protagonist later shows remorse, or maybe other characters chew out the protagonist – just something which makes it clear that the reader is not supposed to cheer for sexual violence. And the Hidden Gem trilogy does not do this. Candy never feels remorse for this. I am not sure what other characters know about this incident, but if they know about it, they act like it was okay for Candy to do this. While I cannot say too much more without getting into spoiler territory, the way that both Cardinal Sins and Candy Land is written makes it clear that the writer wants readers to cheer for Candy and want good things for him, and to boo Jason and want bad things for him.

This really fouls my taste for the entire trilogy. However, now that I’ve said it, I am going to set that aside and pretend that Chapter 9 of Cardinal Sins does not exist as I continue to review Candy Land.

So tell me more about Candy Land.

In some ways, it is the best book in the trilogy. I like that, after going through two books of A-Ms being such a secret, it finally becomes possible that the secret will be exposed to the public (I am not spoiling if or how that happens) and the political upheaval it might cause. I also liked that it featured A-Ms getting organized to try and create a society which worked for them, rather than having to live in secrecy all the time. I wish this angle of the story had been treated in greater depth, probably because I am more interested in this kind of thing than in M/M romance.

However, whenever a character was ‘dying’ in this book, it was not nearly as dramatic as it was in the first book of the trilogy. By this point, as a reader, I had learned that when any significant character ‘dies’ there is a high chance that said character will be resurrected in the near future, so character death had stopped feeling so dramatic by this book (to be fair, there was a significant death in Cardinal Sins which was not followed by a resurrection). Character death which was NOT followed by resurrection would have surprised me, of course. And maybe it did, because maybe some significant characters died in Candy Land without being resurrected. I’m not spoiling.


On the asexuality content scale (1 = least content, 10 = most content) I would rate this as a 3.

It is strongly hinted in the epilogue of Cardinal Sins that Jack is asexual, and it is finally said outright in Candy Land that yes, Jack is asexual. Though he was just a supporting character in the first two books of the trilogy, he finally becomes a major character in Candy Land. It seems that, between the second and third books in the trilogy, he’s developed a close non-sexual relationship with Ivy, a character who was first introduced in the second book.

The main ‘romance’ of the novel is the Candy/Ivy/Jack triad. The main obstacle to them getting together is that Jack is asexual and has no need for sex, and Candy is really into sex, and Candy does not know how to have a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t need sex (in fact, at first, Candy has trouble believing that an adult could not want sex). Here is an excerpt:

CANDY LAY in bed listening to Ivy breathe for a long time. He should have been sleeping, but his head was too full of shit to even consider letting him sleep. What did Ivy mean, Jack and sex was nonexistent? Who didn’t want sex? So all these months that Candy’s gut had been churning with jealousy thinking Ivy and Jack were off fucking like bunnies without inviting him, and they were reading? What the hell?

Here is Candy coming to terms with Jack’s asexuality:

He’d looked up the term Ivy had left for him after his last client: asexuality. A lack of emotional interest in sex. There were a dozen divisions within the term, some even sex- or relationship-averse, meaning they were repulsed by sex. Did sex disgust Jack? Was that why he hugged himself whenever he entered the Gem and refused to meet anyone’s eyes? Candy had thought it was just shyness, and maybe it partially was. He just didn’t quite understand. How could someone be physically able to have sex, but not want to? If he asked Jack, would he answer?

Jack is not the first asexual that Ivy has known, so Ivy was completely comfortable with Jack’s asexuality from the beginning. He doesn’t mind that their relationship is non-sexual. I also like that Ivy takes it upon himself to educate Candy about asexuality rather than forcing Jack to do the education – as an asexual myself, I know how exhausting it can be to give people Asexuality 101.

Anyway, enough about Candy. How does Jack experience things? Well, there is the obligatory subplot about Jack and cake (I groan at cake-culture, but, well, it is common for asexual fiction stories to have some kind of cake tie-in). Here’s an excerpt from Jack’s point of view:

Jack was frowning by the end. He didn’t want Ivy to be all his for whatever debauchery Candy thought he might enjoy. He hoped that whatever the gift was it didn’t involve some sort of kinky sex toy that Jack was sure to have never seen before. His experience with sex was limited—mostly learned from smutty romance novels—and he was okay with keeping it that way.

And here’s another excerpt:

“What…?” Jack began to ask, but Ivy leaned forward and kissed him soundly. Jack pulled away as if he’d been slapped, jumping out of the chair and tipping it over. His heart hammered with fear. Not really of being touched, but of the expectations that usually followed a touch like that. He liked Ivy. Hell, he sort of liked Shane, Aki, Paris, and even Candy. Would they still like him if they knew how different he was? He’d been trying to keep himself detached from them all for this very reason. “Sorry, sorry. You should probably go. Tell everyone I appreciate their gifts.” He headed to the door ready to let Ivy out.

And then there is the other asexual that Ivy knows – Marc – who is a minor character in this story. Of course, the most interesting thing Marc does in this story is, ummm, unrelated to asexuality and a major spoiler. He does not want sex, but he does sometimes hire Ivy to cuddle him. He says that he would be willing to have sex as a ‘gift’ for his partner. Oh, and at one point of the story, Candy accuses Marc of being the killer going around murdering whores because Candy thinks that someone who would hire a whore like Ivy without having sex is very suspicious and possibly harboring murderous inclinations. Yep, Candy has a really (not) asexual-friendly worldview.

And finally … Jack does have sex at some point in the story. I’m not going to spoil the circumstances, or who he has sex with, but since some asexual readers feel strongly about whether or not asexual characters have sex, I felt I ought to put that out there.

Is the writer asexual?

Yes, Lissa Kasey is asexual.

Sara, do you like this novel?

I was able to read the entire trilogy, which says something about its readability, and I definitely like Candy Land more than Cardinal Sins, and I do think Candy Land has good representation of asexuality. However, I cannot say that I like Candy Land.

Candy Land may be purchased at the Dreamspinner Store or various book retailers.

Towards a Green Christmas (or, the Train Which Was Faster Than Flying)

Photo of Chicago's Union Station by Cuddlesworth. Used in accordance with Creative Commons 2.0 License.

Photo of Chicago’s Union Station by Cuddlesworth. Used in accordance with Creative Commons 2.0 License.

Much as I enjoyed my stay in Chicago, my main purpose for going there in the first place was to catch a train which would take me back home. At first, I had intended to try to make a tight transfer, but I realized that it would have been tricky to get from St. Louis to Chicago in time to catch the train to San Francisco, and if there had been ANY delay on the St. Louis – Chicago leg of the trip, I would mess up the transfer, so I figured it was better to spend one night in Chicago. And then I decided to spend two nights in Chicago, which allowed me to have a full and satisfying day there.

Inside Chicago Union Station. Photo by Chris Filiatreau, used in accordance with Creative Commons 2.0 License.

Inside Chicago Union Station. Photo by Chris Filiatreau, used in accordance with Creative Commons 2.0 License.

Chicago Union Station is the busiest long-distance train station in the United States. Just take a look at a map of the Amtrak system, and you’ll notice that an awful lot of train lines converge in Chicago. Most major train stations in the United States only see 2-4 long-distance trains per day, whereas when I was at Chicago Union Station, the train to San Francisco was departing just fifteen minutes after the train to San Antonio, Texas, and likewise, the train going to Seattle was departing just fifteen minutes after the San Francisco train (and the train to Los Angeles was departing shortly after the train to Seattle). This is on top of the fact that there are the local commuter trains called ‘Metra’ (they look like Caltrains, but had more snow on them), as well as the Polar Express (at the train station, whenever I saw a family with young children, there was a 90% chance that they were waiting for the Polar Express). To impose order on this chaos, Chicago Union Station requires boarding passes (unlike any other Amtrak station I have been too), and when it is time to begin boarding, an Amtrak employee will call out the name of the train (for example, “CALIFORNIA ZEPHYR!”), line up the passengers, and then walk them through the maze of the station to the correct platform.

On the train, I briefly talked to a couple who was travelling from Philadelphia to San Francisco. Their train from Philadelphia arrived at Chicago Union Station just five minutes before the train to San Francisco departed. They said that the Amtrak employees arranged for a very speedy transfer which is why they got on the San Francisco-bound train on time. I cannot imagine an airline company arranging a transfer between an arriving and departing airplane within a five minute window.

Speaking of airlines, one of the advantages of train travel is that there is NO SECURITY CHECK. Amtrak employees do check whether or not you have a valid ticket, and they do NOT like unattended luggage/packages in places where luggage/packages are not supposed to be stored, and there are some forbidden items, but generally it is a way easier process than boarding an airplane.

Once on the train, I got to see a lot more of the Illinois landscape. First the train passed through suburbs of Chicago, and then it was a vast expanse of farmland coated in snow, with isolated farmhouses, stands of trees, and streams breaking up the white landscape. During this portion of the trip, I talked with a young woman who was going from Chicago back to her hometown, Burlington, Iowa.

Just about when we arrived in Iowa, the sun set. I was expecting Iowa to be more farmland just like Illinois, so I was surprised to see how industrialized it was (I learned that the train goes through the most industrialized region of Iowa – which makes sense, of course manufacturing and industry would be concentrated along the most important train route).

I stepped off the train in Omaha, Nebraska for a breather. Omaha was no colder than Chicago, but the ground was slick and slippery, so I did not walk far from the train. After Omaha, I went to sleep, and woke up in Colorado.

Colorado, like Illinois and Iowa and Nebraska, was covered in snow, but it looked different. We stopped in Fort Morgan, and then Denver. It was so cold that night that the remote-controlled switches on the tracks were failing, so whenever the train needed to use a switch, it had to stop, the conductor had to get off the train (in the middle of a blizzard), use the manual switch, get back on the train, and then the train could go ahead. Naturally, this led to the train being hours behind schedule.

Denver was also coated in snow, but in a very different way than Chicago. Chicago is liberal in its use of salt, and makes an effort to clear snow. Denver doesn’t bother with salt, or clearing snow. The Colorado residents I met on the train said that all snow in Denver melts within days, a week at most, so they don’t bother with it. They could tell just by looking at Denver that it had snowed at night, because otherwise it would have been much more melted down. One of the most remarkable sights I saw in Denver were people (homeless people, I presume) setting up tents along a riverbank covered with snow. I’ve certainly seen tent encampments of homeless people before, but never amid such snow.

When we got to Denver train station, I was told to stay on the train platform because we didn’t have time to enter the station. Then we stayed in Denver station for more than half an hour. I got to watch snow fall of the platform roofs.

A conductor told me that only 50 passengers were supposed to board the train in Denver. Instead, 130 passengers boarded in Denver. What happened? Well, a bunch of people discovered that taking the train was faster than flying.

Let me explain.

That day, every single flight at Denver International Airport was cancelled, due to to a combination of weather and the incompetence of whoever manages flights at Denver. People on the train told me that, when they tried to reschedule their flights, they were told that they would have to wait at least four days in Denver. The people going to places such as Utah and California figured out that it takes less than four days for a train to get to those places, so they got train tickets. Thus, it turns out that trains are sometimes faster than airplanes.

I will continue with my account of riding the California Zephyr from Chicago to San Francisco Emeryville (which is just a ten minute bus ride away from San Francisco).

Ah, but what is this thing about a ‘Green Christmas’? Well, a lot of people on the train lived in places like Iowa and Colorado, and they were visiting their relatives in California. Why were they going from Iowa/Colorado/Philadelphia/wherever to California, rather than inviting their California relatives to visit them? Because they wanted a “Green Christmas” (they coined the phrase, not me). I suppose the people who wanted a White Christmas took the train going in the opposite direction.

Review: Of Monsters and Men by Caitlin Ricci

The cover of Of Monsters and Men by Caitlin Ricci

This is yet another review of asexual fiction from Dreamspinner Press.

What is this novel about?

Seth works at a pet rescue center, and his boss is a werewolf. Seth like kissing and cuddling guys, but he does not want sex because he is asexual. Furthermore, as a monogamist, he does not handle open relationships very well. He’s fallen into a pattern where he will get into a kissing relationship with a guy, and the guy will say that he is okay with the no sex part, until said guy realizes that he is not okay with the no-sex part, and the relationship ends. Thus, Seth has trouble believing that any particular kissing relationship is going to last long.

But what if he finds someone who is willing to give up sex to have a long-term kissing relationship with him?

What sexual and/or violent content is there in this novel?

There is no sex, however there are many references/discussions of sex, and a scene where a character goes to the bathroom to jerk off. There are references to a minor character’s history of being raped. There is a character who can put thoughts into other people’s minds, and he puts thoughts into their minds which compels them to commit suicide. There is a scene where one character forces another character to take ecstasy (with the intention of enabling sexual assault, though the sexual assault never happens) and the victim’s body reacts so badly that they have to be hospitalized.

Tell me more about this novel

Actually, I want to get straight to the asexuality section.

Fine, tell me about asexuality in this novel.

On the asexuality content scale (1 = least asexual content, 10 = most asexual content), I would rate this novel as an 8.

This novel has an asexual therapy group – as in, a group for asexuals who need therapy. Yay for multiple asexual characters interacting with each other! It’s not entirely clear how Seth got involved with the asexual therapy group, but in the beginning of the story he is only out as asexual to the group and his room mate. One of the nice features of having an asexual therapy group is that it makes it clear that not all asexuals are alike – for example, even though Seth loves kissing, there is a member of the asexual therapy group who thinks kissing is awful. The asexual therapy group also has a problem which, err, is similar to a problem the online asexual community has. I suppose that’s art imitating real life.

Unfortunately, the asexual therapy group is not enough to prevent Seth from feeling like he is doomed to not finding the kind of love he wants to have because he refuses to have sex. I’ve noticed by now that a lot of asexual fiction put out by publishers of LGBTQ+ romance feature the ‘asexual character believes they will never have the loving relationship they want because they don’t want sex’ trope, but this novel goes into this trope much deeper than any other I’ve read so far (which is one reason it gets a relatively high asexuality content score). For example, Seth gets into more than one kissing relationship during the course of the novel, and that the different relationships illustrate different ways that people can react to an asexual looking for a nonsexual kissing relationship.

There is more to be said about asexuality in this novel, but I am reaching the limit of what I can say without getting into spoiler territory.

So do you have anything more to say about the novel?

The werewolf thing is a bit weird, since it … is not as relevant to the plot as I would expect it to be in a werewolf story. That might be because this is a sequel – the werewolf thing might be a lot more important in Rescuing Jack (by the way, one doesn’t need to read Rescuing Jack to appreciate this novel – I certainly didn’t read it – but this novel does contain major spoilers for Rescuing Jack). Being a werewolf is treated as a stigmatized identity, and werewolves ‘come out’ just like gay people come out as being gay. One of the main characters is a gay werewolf who is in the closet about both being gay and being a werewolf, and he is unsure of if, when, and how he would come out as gay and/or a werewolf.

Was this written by an asexual?

I still don’t know whether or not Caitlin Ricci is asexual.

Hey Sara, do you like this novel?

Yes I do. I prefer Crush, which is also by Caitlin Ricci, but I like this one too.

One may buy this novel from the Dreamspinner Store or from various book retailers.

Review: The Steppenwolf Production of The Christians

One of the top things I wanted to do during my brief stay in Chicago was see a live theatre performance. I only had time, practically speaking, to see one show, so I saw The Christians by Lucas Hnath as performed by the Steppenwolf Theatre Company.

The production itself – the acting, the directing, the set, the lighting, etc. – was excellent. Which, given that Steppenwolf is considered one of the best theatre companies in the entire United States, is not a surprise. Given that the production as a whole is excellent, I do not have much to say about it, so I will discuss the play itself instead.

In the play, a pastor has grown a storefront church into a megachurch, and they have just paid down the debt they incurred to build their large gleaming building. As soon as the debt is paid, the paster comes out with a sermon which claims that a) there is no hell and that b) belief in hell creates divisions with people, therefore Christians ought to drop their belief in hell to be better able to spread the word.

The play briefly discusses the Christian theological basis for both the ‘hell exists’ and ‘hell does not exist’ hypotheses, but really, the story is about how this impacts the people rather than about the dogma. The pastor claimed that belief in hell creates gaps between people which makes communication impossible yet, ironically, by declaring his lack of belief in hell, he creates gaps between himself and his congregation.

Even though I have never been a Christian, I still felt the play spoke to me, because ultimately, it’s a play about human nature, not strictly Christianity. One of the stand-out lines was “Does absolute tolerance mean being intolerant of the intolerant?” In the context of the play, that meant whether the pastor’s ideas of accepting that everyone goes to heaven means casting out the members of the church who invoke hellfire in their preaching, but it’s a valid question in many other contexts.

Another issue in the story is that it is strongly implied that the pastor had stopped believing in hell long before he came out with this sermon, but did not dare preach about it until the debt was paid off. This leaves some members of the congregation feeling like they were manipulated in order to secure their tithes. This gets to the issue of having a religious organization which requires a lot of money – it creates economic incentives for people to preach ideas they don’t believe. Though the pastor in the play is not an atheist (he believes in God even though he does not believe in hell), it reminds me of some of the people that The Clergy Project reaches out to – religious leaders who have stopped believing in their religion yet keep on working because they need the paycheck (or they fear backlash from the congregation, etc.)

The play also makes clear that treating the members of the congregation who continue to believe in hell as ignorant or hateful people will not cause them to drop their belief in hell – quite the opposite, in fact.

After the play, I was talking with a young couple about it. For them, the play resonated with them because it showed how a change in beliefs could break personal relationships, and one of them said that he avoids discussing what he feels about religion with his parents because he is afraid that would cause damage to his relationship with them.

It is a thought-provoking play which I think is worthwhile for both Christian and non-Christian audiences. If given an opportunity, I recommend seeing it.

CAUTION! FALLING ICE! – My Stay in Chicago

Okay, I could not resist using this movie poster. I can hardly believe that this is a 2002 film - I remember when it had its first run in theaters and was really popular.

Okay, I could not resist using this movie poster. I can hardly believe that this film dates as far back as 2002 – I remember when it had its first run in theaters and was really popular.

Before I went to Chicago, EVERYONE was warning me about how cold it would be. Even when I boarded the train in St. Louis, the conductor said “It’s cold in Chicago. We should be going south, not north.” I kept getting told that ~nothing~ I have experienced would prepare me for Chicago’s coldness. And windiness. And snowiness.

The train crossed into Illinois pretty much as soon as it got out St. Louis city limits. The train made stop after stop in various Illinois towns. As a native of Chicago I eventually met in Chicago said (with her distinctly Chicago accent) “Outside of Chicago, Illinois is a rural state. I remember, when I was going to Springfield, there was a thirty mile stretch when I lost phone reception, and I thought ‘Whoa, we’re still in Illinois, we’re not far from Chicago.'” She also said in the same conversation “The people downstate say we are moochers, but Cook County [where Chicago is located] provides 70% of the tax revenue for the state of Illinois. We’re not moochers.”

Indeed, the only place the train passed through which was not rural was Springfield, the capital of Illinois. I enjoyed seeing the small Illinois towns, and watching the people all bundled up boarding the train. And a lot of people boarded the train – it was an ‘overfull’ train since there were more passengers than seats. Most of those passengers did not board in St. Louis – there were entire cars which were empty when we departed St. Louis – which shows that a lot of people in small-town Illinois use the train to get to Chicago.

When I was in Missouri, I didn’t see any snow. However, only about 40 minutes into Illinois, I started seeing frost, and about twenty minutes later, I saw landscapes coated with snow. There were a lot of fields, but there was also quite a bit of forest.

Meanwhile, I was uncomfortable, because the train was overheated – way more heated that any other Amtrak train I have ever taken.

Anyway, as we were getting to Chicago, I was bracing myself for the test – was I ready for Chicago winter weather?

Answer: the streets of Chicago – on a night which even local Chicago people said was particularly cold – were more comfortable than that overheated train.

I am happy to report that Chicago (at least near the train station) has better street lighting than New Orleans. It was pretty exciting, not just walking through a city I had never been to before, but walking through an environment I had never been in before. I have experienced snow in Kyoto, but Kyoto snow is much less intense than Chicago snow. The sidewalks of Chicago, even when they are cleared of snow, retain a thin layer of salt crystals which give them a frosty appearance.

That said, I must thank everyone who gave me dire warnings of Chicago winter weather. They persuaded me to bring clothing which made my time in Chicago more comfortable than it would have been otherwise (long underwear is very useful).

I slept in a hostel in Greektown, which is on the eastern edge of the ‘Near West Side’ and has a lot of Greek eateries. I suspect that the managers/owners of the hostel are also Greek-Americans.

The next day – which was the only full day I spent in Chicago – I spent hours walking around in downtown. I loved the look of snow blanketing the urban landscape. I noticed an abundance of signs saying ‘Caution – Falling Ice’ – hence the title of this post. Though I never rode the El, I enjoyed looking up at the tracks and hearing the trains above me.

Chicago is famous for its architecture, and yes, a lot of it is nice. However, the Sears Tower (I know it has another name now, but I still think of it as the ‘Sears Tower’) does not look like anything special at ground level – it just looks like a generic skyscraper.

The highlight of the walk was not the buildings, but Lake Michigan. It was the first time I had seen any of the Great Lakes. I liked its blue/turquoise/cyan color against the white/gray sky. I saw a great variety of ice floating on the lake waters. In some places the ice was really choppy and broken up, full of white edges, as the lake water undulated beneath it. In another place, the ice formed large sheets which were nearly translucent, making them the same color as the water, but one could see cracks in the plates of ice, like cracks in a glass window. I was impressed by a pair of ducks which were happily splashing in the lake water right next to one of the ice sheets. And the beaches – I have never seen a beach blanketed with snow before. I love the interested blobs of frozen sand which looked like cool complicated rocks – and felt as hard as rock.

In the afternoon, it began to snow anew. I felt that walking through Chicago was like walking through a Christmas card, and experience I’ve never had before. I grew up in coastal California, where it simply does not snow – in California, winter means the landscape because green with sprouting and reviving plants and new life (in other words, winter is to us what spring is to East Coast culture). As a child, the only times I ever saw snow was when my family visited the Sierra mountains – in summer. I saw snow fall from the sky for the first time in Kyoto, and that is the only other urban environment to date where I have seen snow, but, well, Kyoto does not look like a Christmas card.

I loved the weather in Chicago. I felt it was a challenge and an adventure, and the scenery was gorgeous. However, most residents of Chicago had a reaction like this when they heard I was going to San Francisco next –

Me: Next, I’m going to San Francisco.
Chicago Resident: I want to go to San Francisco.
Me: It doesn’t snow in San Francisco.
Chicago Resident: I know, that’s why I want to go there!

Some residents of Chicago seemed a bit … disappointed that I was not put off by the weather. However, they explained that, while the weather had novelty value for me because it was all new to me, dealing with the snow and the wind and the cold gets old when one has to put up with it all winter, year after year. I can understand that perspective.

In the evening, I … went to the theatre. There was no way I was going to stay in Chicago without seeing a theatre show (well, maybe if I were in Chicago on a Monday night I would skip the theatre). I saw The Christians performed by the Steppenwolf Theatre Company. I had seen a Steppenwolf production more than ten years ago when they toured in San Francisco, but this was obviously the first time I saw a show in their home theatre. I will post a review later, but in summary, it was excellent.

I was talking to one of the employees at Steppenwolf, and I learned that she is from Jackson, Mississippi. That’s near Vicksburg, so I told her that I had recently visited Vicksburg. I then learned that both of her parents were from Vicksburg. It’s a small world.

I was seated next to a long-term Steppenwolf subscriber, and I enjoyed talking with her before the show began.

After hearing about my travels, the Steppenwolf employees decided to give me a Steppenwolf notebook, a Steppenwolf pen, and a complementary drink at their bar after the show. I was amazed by their generosity. I enjoyed a cocktail at their bar, and was impressed without how many people went to the bar right after the show. I guess it is a Chicago tradition, or maybe just a Steppenwolf one. I really liked the cocktail, which had vodka and ginger and spices and some other things (I guess it was a variation of a Moscow Mule).

On my last morning in Chicago, I went to Hull House. That happened to be the one day of the week that it is closed, but that was okay, since I was content to just look at the building and peek through the windows. Hull House, of course, was the base for the historically important social activist Jane Addams.

In summary, I loved Chicago and its winter weather. This was the right time for me to visit.